Mr. Obama, what do you think about the new Baconator at Wendy's?

I stole this page from the notebook of Michael Fletcher, reporter on the national desk at the Washington Post.

Potential questions to ask Obama at his first prime-time press conference

In this stimulus package, how important is the creation of long-term jobs?

What kind of pickle do you prefer?

What could the effects of shortsightedness be if jobs that help stabilize the economy long-term are overlooked in the passing of this legislation?

Do you think Jessica Simpson looks fat?

Are you worried at all about the bill going back to the house to face a Democratic majority that seems unwilling to play bi-partisan ball?

*****Oh, speaking of ball, what do you think about Alex Rodriguez admitting to taking a banned substance?*****

Do you have a favorite character from High School Musical?

Your foreign policy team includes heavyweights like Vice President Joe Biden and Secretary of State Hilary Clinton, so how do you keep them from stepping on each other’s toes, which is what some say is happening with the visits Mr. Biden has been making recently?

Clintons. Clintons. Oh! Who is your favorite Clinton? Hilary? Bill? George? Or that big red dog? Wait, that’s Clifford. Shit.

Some of the picks for your economic team seem to be rivals. Do you ever worry about their inability to do anything but bicker about ideology?

Who’s better: Bob Barker or Drew Carey?

Note: The stars indicate the question he wisely chose.

I know they didn't allow follow-ups, but they certainly should have allowed Fletcher to ask this: "In light of my last question, Mr. Obama, do you think they should revoke my press credentials?"

Even though he wasted an opportunity to ask an even remotely pertinent question during President Obama’s first primetime press conference, Fletcher probably has suffered enough ridicule. So he’s not my Dumb Ass of the Week.

That honor goes to 33-year-old Nadya Suleman, the woman who just had octuplets.

Here are the facts: She is an unemployed grad student living at her parents house, who already has six kids under the age of 8 and decided it would be an excellent idea to have six embryos placed in her uterus.

Now, with no job and no male counterpart, she gets to take care of 14 in-vitro-fertilized droolers needing food, diapers and emotional support. All while going to graduate school to get her master’s in counseling (After somehow getting a bachelor’s in child development, which she’ll put to use). And, she'll need it. The counseling, that is, not the degree.

What the fuck happened to crazy, single females getting like 60-some-odd cats?

It’s just so much messier when they use children as a balm for their emotional injuries. And, here's a memo to Ms. Suleman: No man in his right mind is going to go within a fucking mile of you. If you can scare a guy off with one kid, you might be able to kill one dead with 14 little crymachines running around puking all over.


Nadya Suleman (left) talks to Anne Curry (right). Photo from the Huffington Post