Huey Lewis and the Google News

I could read about anything in the world.

Every corner of the news universe is at my fingertips.

I am a modern, connected man.

And what do I do with this nearly unlimited power? This (only after learning to operate my Mac's Grab program):

Who needs Europe when we've got Clooney's eyes and that superpower Oprah uses to control America's minds?

If you believe the picture, the headline should have been: Smoking, childhood stupidity link found.

"I'm GM's new 230 MPG Volt, bitch!"

Person? Which one? AP, it would have been better to just say "Giant, Talking Orange Tic Tac says."

Stay tuned, we'll be back with Jaywalking, followed by your late local news.