Apparently, lending and reforms aren't two of Oprah's things.
At least they left us holiday cookies in super-fun shapes.
No, that's not accurate. Any time of year is appropriate for a financial shitstorm.
Perfect.
10 years ago
Friday, December 18, 2009
More Fun WIth Google News
I'm not great with technology. That's why I love it when technology fucks up. Revenge. It's a dish best served with cooked cabbage and some shitty captions.
Apparently, lending and reforms aren't two of Oprah's things.
No, that's not accurate. Any time of year is appropriate for a financial shitstorm.
Perfect.
Apparently, lending and reforms aren't two of Oprah's things.No, that's not accurate. Any time of year is appropriate for a financial shitstorm.Perfect.Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Huey Lewis and the Google News
I could read about anything in the world.
Every corner of the news universe is at my fingertips.
I am a modern, connected man.
And what do I do with this nearly unlimited power? This (only after learning to operate my Mac's Grab program):
Who needs Europe when we've got Clooney's eyes and that superpower Oprah uses to control America's minds?
If you believe the picture, the headline should have been: Smoking, childhood stupidity link found.
"I'm GM's new 230 MPG Volt, bitch!"
Person? Which one? AP, it would have been better to just say "Giant, Talking Orange Tic Tac says."
Stay tuned, we'll be back with Jaywalking, followed by your late local news.
Every corner of the news universe is at my fingertips.
I am a modern, connected man.
And what do I do with this nearly unlimited power? This (only after learning to operate my Mac's Grab program):
Who needs Europe when we've got Clooney's eyes and that superpower Oprah uses to control America's minds?
If you believe the picture, the headline should have been: Smoking, childhood stupidity link found.
"I'm GM's new 230 MPG Volt, bitch!"
Person? Which one? AP, it would have been better to just say "Giant, Talking Orange Tic Tac says."Monday, July 6, 2009
We always lose the ones we love
With heavy hearts and tear-filled eyes, we announce the passing of Sarah Palin’s 2012 presidential aspirations. They were brutally murdered Friday, July 3 at a news conference where Palin announced her resignation as governor of Alaska.
Born sometime during the middle of the 2008 McCain-Palin campaign, her presidential aspirations for 2012 were resilient, even at birth. Early in life, they fought through the tough situations the aspiration’s older siblings — Palin’s mouth and her lack of a basic knowledge of civics — often put them in.
Her presidential aspirations came into their own near the end of the 2008 campaign when they pushed Palin to go rogue. It was a great time for them. But, times wouldn’t stay this happy forever. They were blamed for the 2008 election-night defeat she was more than partially responsible for. Her aspirations have also sucked her into several public controversies, including a recent spat with David Letterman.
Despite their complete lack of a sense of humor, her political aspirations will be missed by Republicans and Democrats alike. Those on the right will now have to find new political eye candy, while the left may face at least a half-competent opponent in 2012.
Palin’s 2012 presidential aspirations are survived by her husband, Todd; her five children, Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig; a book deal; the hopes and dreams of the SNL writer’s room; myriad corporate speaking gigs; a sticky copy of Who’s Nailin’ Palin; and several gallons of moose chili.
Born sometime during the middle of the 2008 McCain-Palin campaign, her presidential aspirations for 2012 were resilient, even at birth. Early in life, they fought through the tough situations the aspiration’s older siblings — Palin’s mouth and her lack of a basic knowledge of civics — often put them in.
Her presidential aspirations came into their own near the end of the 2008 campaign when they pushed Palin to go rogue. It was a great time for them. But, times wouldn’t stay this happy forever. They were blamed for the 2008 election-night defeat she was more than partially responsible for. Her aspirations have also sucked her into several public controversies, including a recent spat with David Letterman.
Despite their complete lack of a sense of humor, her political aspirations will be missed by Republicans and Democrats alike. Those on the right will now have to find new political eye candy, while the left may face at least a half-competent opponent in 2012.
Palin’s 2012 presidential aspirations are survived by her husband, Todd; her five children, Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig; a book deal; the hopes and dreams of the SNL writer’s room; myriad corporate speaking gigs; a sticky copy of Who’s Nailin’ Palin; and several gallons of moose chili.
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